I have often been known to describe myself as an under-eater or an over-eater but never a healthy eater.
Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that 5 1/2 years ago, I weighed 215 pounds. When I think about that time in my life...I'm not even sure who that person is. I am in disbelief that I ever let myself get that far. This is the story of how I gained that weight, lost it and am now attempting to find a healthy balance in my life.
I would have to say that growing up, I was average size close to overweight. I played sports my whole life and that was the only way I ever exercised. I graduated high school wearing a size 12 and weighing right around 150. I was never comfortable with the way I looked but also never really motivated enough to do anything about it. After graduation, any and all exercise in my life halted and I entered the wonderful world of college dining halls. I grew up in a house that had accessible "junk" food but was never really an over-eater. Life on the college campus was a different story. My meals consisted of an uncountable amount of calories. Thinking about that now...I am disgusted that I was ever able to do that. As my weight crept up, I became more and more depressed and continued letting these bad habits spiral out of control. By the end of my freshman year, I had gained 40 lbs and was showing no signs of slowing down. I moved back home and began sneaking food. I ate after my parents went to bed and often stopped and crammed an unhealthy meal in my mouth before returning home and eating with my parents. I had no concept of what I was doing to myself. In 2006, I went on a family vacation with, my then boyfriend, now husband. I could not have been more uncomfortable with myself on this trip. However, upon returning home, I rolled right back into my unhealthy eating habits. This carried on for another 3 months.
Me at 215 lbs. Cruise 2006.
The Day My Life Changed for the Good...
In October of 2006, I went to work at my part-time job and saw brownies. I decided that day that if I could make it through that whole shift without eating one then I was well on my way to losing some of this unwanted weight. That thought spiraled out into months of dieting. I signed up for Sparkpeople.com and began counting calories and lost 12 pounds immediately. When the weight lose halted there, I began incorporating walking into my daily routine. Then things got a little unhealthy in the opposite direction. Over the next few months, I became so obsessed with calorie counting that I knocked my daily intake from 1,200 to 800. However, in 7 months, I had knocked off the extra 65 lbs I had gained after high school. I was wearing my high school jeans and I was thrilled. I continued on with this weight for the next 2 years and I was perfectly content.
Unhealthy Habits Return...
Then I got married...I moved out of my parents home and into my own with my husband. Learning how to cook for two was difficult and being married to someone who was overweight allowed me to feel more comfortable eating more than necessary. I gained 30 lbs in a year and half. I was back up to 180 and creeping scarily close to the 200 lb mark again.
On New Years Day 2011, I decided enough was enough and asked my sister to start going to the gym with me. I also began counting calories again. This time I wasn't using a program just doing it mentally. Things once again got out of control and eventually I had stopped eating dinner. I was down to 200-300 calories a day and going to the gym every day. I have no idea how I had enough energy to function with 6 year olds every day. I was averaging about 2 lbs of weight lose a week and I was down another 50 lbs and was unable to see anything wrong with my means of losing the weight. My sister and my husband intervened and I slowly began including more calories in my day. Summer and Fall came and I gained about 7 of the 50 lost back. This is why I say I am either an over-eater or under-eater. When I would count calories, I would be so obsessed with it that I didn't eat enough. But if I wasn't counting calories than I wasn't caring enough to notice weight gain.
On New Years Day 2012, my husband and I started South Beach diet. My husband has also always struggled with his weight and he needed a plan that would help him shed unwanted pounds fast. I lost the 7 lbs I had gained and began working out regularly. We have slowly let South Beach go and I have since been attempting to find a healthy balance for myself and my husband. I am trying to learn to pay less attention to the calorie number and more attention to whether or not what I am about to put in my body is good for me. Learning this balance is tricky for me and I'll admit, grocery shopping is often difficult. I catch myself looking at the calories on everything I pick up and admittedly put a great deal of things back because of the calories. I have decided to document my (our) journey through the use of this blog.
Me. Now. (I have no idea why this picture is not rotated. I tried several things :/).
This blog is by no means documenting everything I eat...nor is it a diet that I recommend for others. Just my story and my life.